A friend told a friend who told a friend who told me that the first friend thought I was mad at her. Despite the scenario, I’m not 12 or 13; I’m 66, and I have learned a few things about relationships during oh these many years… If you are concerned that a friend is mad at you, ask her. She may tell you that she is indeed mad, and give you the opportunity to listen (otherwise known as repairing the relationship). She may lie that she isn’t mad, but at least she’ll know you care. Consider this: maybe it isn’t about you at all; maybe she has her own struggles that have nothing to do with you! Perhaps you don’t even know about those struggles, because you have not asked. If this is the case, deciding she’s mad and then gossiping about it, doesn’t support her or heal the friendship (IF there is something to heal), so consider if your concern is for yourself or for your friend. I have had enough relationships to know that the lasting ones are between two people who are not needy and who do not keep score. I have had enough relationships to know that they ebb and flow depending on circumstance, and distancing doesn’t have to mean anger. If you are hurt or lonely or missing your friend, look in the mirror, and then REACH OUT. 🐩
